Struggles and Stereotypes

This past weekend DCU hosted a conference on the history of the Baptist church in the former Soviet Union. Some partners/friends who I have gotten to know quite well during my travels were in town and in need of a place to stay. I was delighted because they have hosted me many times in my travels and, even if for only one night, it was nice to be able to return the favor.

Let me preface the following paragraphs by pointing out that some stereotypes exist in North America that are not as prevalent here in Ukraine. And vice-versa. I won’t go into detail, but in the course of our conversations this past weekend a couple of topics came up where I noticed some stereotypes that I wasn’t comfortable with. How did I respond? I just sat there.

I could justify myself by saying that I was concentrating on understanding what was being said so intensely that I was unable to shift gears in my mind and offer a tactful, somewhat well-thought response. And of course I could say that I did not completely understand all that was being said (this is my standard excuse). But this time I won’t use these because, if either of them were the case, I should have asked for more clarification (I can at least do that in a somewhat polite manner). Instead, I just sat and listened as the conversation continued along on its zigzagging path.

A few hours later, when I had the opportunity to reflect (I spend a lot of time in buses and trains where I do a lot of reflecting), I began to regret my actions, or lack thereof. I wondered what would have happened if I had been more honest about what I thought. Would the people have respected me for what I had to say, or would they have written me off as “liberal” and then become more reluctant in my presence in the future?

This is one of the struggles I have a lot—knowing when it would be appropriate to muster the courage to say what I think, possibly resulting in judgment, in a culture that I have hardly begun to understand. Right or wrong, I find it easier/safer to sit and listen, even when the subject matter makes me uncomfortable. I tell myself that I will learn more, but then end up questioning the motives of my silence.

Dave